When I was a bachelor, I often heard people say that what you care about when dating is not what you care about when it’s time to really look for a wife. I thought it was all nonsense until I grew up a bit and started projecting towards getting married. At that point, all of the beauty, body shape and spoken words were secondary. I started to really look for something deeper in the ladies I met. It was no longer about the physical appearance; there were a lot of attitudinal, mental, and relational traits I started watching out for. In the end, I found something I felt at home with in my wife and we are married today.
This is why I am inspired to put this out there to guide other single guys out there who are on the verge of moving from dating to getting really serious with the marriage thing. This is no longer the time to wish away those warning signs staring you in the face. You have to wake up to them and make decisions; not just for you, but for your children.
Here are ten warning signs that the current girl(s) in your life may not be the best life partners for marriage.
1. She spends more than you can tolerate.
It’s important for you to be financially compatible with the woman you want to end up with. If she spends a lot, it might be a bad sign that you would have to deal with forever. It means you have to always be on top of your game to provide for the house. A lot of guys like it when their woman guides them into making better financial choices instead of being the chief-spender of the house. I am not saying a woman should not spend. But when it’s above the limit you can take, you better not risk jumping too high. Leave her to find a man that can match her spending appetite.
2. She lacks a mind of her own, always submitting to the whims of her parents and friends.
This is a ticking time bomb as you would hardly have any private issues. She would often seek the validation of her folks and friends, and that could be dangerous for your long-term relationship. It would mean you are not only marrying her, but her entire friends’ circle and the family. You hurt one, you hurt all. No man loves to be in that situation. So, if you can manage it. Run!
3. She is not comfortable with your job or means of livelihood.
They say behind every great man, there is a woman. The bible explains further by asking “Can two walk together except they agree?” If the answer is No, then you have no business forcing a long-term relationship with a woman who’s not comfortable with what you do to make ends meet. If she can’t support your hustle (which I hope is legit), then she can’t be comfortable in marriage with you. It is fine for a woman to want more for you and push you towards getting more. But when she ridicules your job and tries to make you feel bad for the kind of job you love to do, then she is not a worthy life partner.
4. She has a sharp tongue.
This will not be the first time you will hear that a woman’s tongue is fire. It seems women naturally have the ability to use words, but when there is an unbridled tongue attached to that, then you might be dealing with domestic issues in your marriage. When a woman has the tendency to push you to the wall with her rash words, it’s a bad sign. Don’t go near!
5. She has a bad temper.
It’s one thing to have a sharp tongue, but another thing to have a bad temper. A combination of both is very bad, but it’s also as bad as having the temper alone. It means you have to walk on egg-shells around her. Any mistake might lead to violent display and who knows where the story might end? Take warning, brother.
6. She has an overboard level of interaction with other people you are not comfortable with.
It’s important to also pay attention to who she associates with. Remember that we are as good as the company we keep. If her company gives you cause for concern, you may need to have a talk with her. If she is unwilling to change, then you have to change your course as well. Go for another.
7. She is an owambe addict.
There is nothing wrong with celebrating family and friends. The problem only starts when you have to be in every celebration, loaded with the burden of planning, buying aso-ebi, incurring cost and debts, and always making a show at every occasion. My brother, if you are the private type, you may not like that kind of publicity. This is the time to cut off the relationship, before it becomes something you can’t contain.
8. Her virtual life doesn’t tally with what you see in real life.
This is for people who met via the virtual world of Social Media. There is a lot of fakeness on the social platforms we use every day. So, when you finally meet and there are a lot of differences between what you ordered and what you got, it’s time to make that move. You don’t want to end up with someone who has a knack for faking her lifestyle. She might bring you into her charade later.
9. She is overly argumentative.
There is a difference between being opinionated, having an independent mind and just being borderline argumentative. Even though the Bible says wives should be submissive, we are not asking you to look for a dumb woman who also dances to you whims. We are asking you to look for a woman who knows the logic behind agreements and disagreements. If you are always having to argue about everything, then you might not be compatible. Take note.
10. She displays fetish tendencies.
If your woman is the type that believes in strange fetish objects and practices which negate your own spirituality, you might need to check your decision to stay with her on the long-term. It’s very important for both of you to agree on your spirituality or lack of it. If any of her practices gives you a cause for concern. It’s a warning sign you have to heed.
You can see that this list is nothing about having a beautiful face, curvy body or sweet voice. There are some deeper things that can affect the happiness of a couple. Those are signs to look out for. You have other ideas? Please share.